The Adjustment Bureau

Nearly 15 years ago my cousin Kecia married her husband Kenny. When we called her post-honeymoon to see how she was doing in her new role, her response was, "It's an adjustment". I now know what she meant by that statement.

I love being married to Michael, the love and support that he gives to me, our shared laughs and plans for the future and our growing and developing faith as a couple in Christ. Yet even with these shared joys we have to adjust in our new roles to one another to make this marriage a success.

We came into our marriage grown and mature adults, already owners of property and all the bills that go along with being a grown up. As such we were very set in our routine. My after work routine was to come home and walk the dog, veg out with a little HGTV, maybe go to an exercise class and decide later if I wanted to cook dinner. His routine was come home make a meal of sloppy joes, and play video games and/or watch one of his 50,000 DVDs. Even now married it is easy to slip back into those familiar roles because you've done them for so long. I recognize that marriage, whether it's been 30 days or 30 years still entails much work. Efforts must be made to continue those lines of communication, to just sit with one another, to make the time to be together so you can always remember why you entered into this Holy union. And it involves much prayer for yourself and for your spouse, that you may be the help meet to him that God intended and he may lead the home in the direction that God intends.

In our shared times together we have learned to enjoy, or should I say tolerate, some things that the other had no interest in previously. Michael will sit and watch the occasional House Hunters shows with me, and I will watch his SciFi movies. I'm excited for some upcoming plays this Fall that I would love for Michael to escort me to and he has his motorcycle races, of which I will have to attend at least one or two.

Our taste in movies is  vastly different as well. While he is looking forward to Cowboys v. Aliens and some new Planet of the Monkeys. .. . . . Apes, whatever, movie. I'm excitedly awaiting the premiere of the movie The Help. One evening I watched the movie, The Adjustment Bureau, with him. I won't go into great detail about the film but focus upon the theme of adjustment. In the movie "forces" keep changing things around a determined couple to prevent them from being together. With every situation they encounter to be together an adjustment has to be made.

That is similar to marriage. I may be set and determined in my goal, but now that I am joined to Michael I have to make adjustments in some areas of my daily and long term life as does he. Our professional and personal goals must now involve one another.

Our adjustments began before our wedding and will continue throughout our marriage, I am certain. One of the first adjustments Michael made prior to our wedding was his switch from whole milk to lowfat 2% milk, I likely will never get him to Fat Free. Mine was the consolidation of my closets into ONE main closet, a very traumatic experience indeed Along with these physical tasks were there mental ones. I had to change my mindset of MY house to OUR house. He had to change his mindset of "dogs are supposed to stay outside" to the reality that my Shih Tzu lives and will always live inside. Even the dog is making adjustments, albeit slowly. Our other adjustment is tempearture. Michael's body temperature must be 95 degrees everyday. Although he came from the deserts of Central California he is always hot regardless of the temperature inside. So while he sits and sweats in the living room with the AC on blast, I shiver next to him wrapped in a blanket with a cup of hot tea. This is one adjustment we make for us to cohabitate together. ;)

When I was single I had the foolish delusion that my life would not have to change much as a married woman. I assumed my husband would enter my life and be as interested in my interests as I were in his; well reality has set in! So I will continue to watch the occasional conspiracy theory scifi drama and he will watch couples searching for a new house with me, and all in all I think we will settle in with the changes in our new shared lives, albeit with a few adjustments here and there.