On June 10, 2011 I married the man I am to share the rest of my life with. On June 20, 2011 while kayaking in the dark of the bioluminescent bay of Farajdo, Puerto Rico I thought that end might come sooner than later.
My new husband and I planned our Puerto Honeymoon (orginally to be destination wedding AND honeymoon, but I'll save that for another blog) with lots of desired excursions and activities. One such excursion was to kayak one of the three bioluminescent bays in Puerto Rico to see the glowing microorganisms there.
We prepared for this excursion by clothing ourselves in long pants and bug repellant to avoid mosquito bites, a waterproof flashlight and my husband's Boy Scout Headband light strapped across his forehead.
Our Kayaking group included many other couples: some dating, some newlyweds and some longer married couples. As we entered into our kayak my new husband proceeded to instruct me on how to row. After a few practices, I was still very much uncertain of what was going to happen as we ventured off into the darkness of the channel. We set out with the group to enter the channel and it felt as if I struggled just to get the small kayak moving. When I looked behind me to my husband I saw that he was fixing the camera settings to take pictures! His priority: Capturing the moment. My priority: To not get lost!
After "nicely" telling my husand I needed his assitance so we can move forward and NOT GET LOST we were towards the middle of the group. Most couples were trying to figure out how to get in sync with one another to move their kayaks forward, however there was one couple where the woman chose to just curse at every stroke and paddle rather than work to go forward with her mate, and another couple where the man just worked and worked to move that kayak further while the woman lied in the kayak afraid of her shadow and every Coqui chirping in the distance.
After moving through the dark channel of the bay with trees enclosing around us we finally reached the opening of the bay and experienced another of God's miraculous wonders here on earth. Fish appearing as lighting rods as they moved about the water, the water lighting up with the agitation of hands in the water and stars beyond stars in the wonderous sky! How glorious it was to behold.
After this grand experience we were set to move back through the now even darker channel to the shore. My fears were great as it was difficult to see where exactly we were going. My husband told me to "trust him" that we would get through the channel fine. While I was willing to trust him there were things that I saw up ahead that he did not see sitting behind me. This was evident when I had to duck all the way back to avoid a tree from smacking me in the head as our kayak reared to the right of the channel. At other times in this ride back through the channel my husband tried to test, without my knowledge, how well I could row the kayak on my own, so he STOPPED rowing. Well as much as he wanted me to learn kayaking, trying to teach me in a dark channel with on glow in the dark bracelets on the kayak ahead of us to guide us back to shore was not the time I wanted to learn.
We safely made it back to shore and I noticed the woman who let her husband row the entire time was a little worse for wear after being "grabbed" by a tree branch along the way and the cursing woman continued her cursing. Save for my anxiety of being hit by a tree it was a great experience and a true lesson in partnership, trust and communication.
While one partner may feel everything is going fine (my husband), another may see things up ahead (a tree) that the other doesn't. It is especially at these times that both partners need to keep their eyes open to what is around or upcoming and the other has to have ears to truly HEAR what their partner is saying.
With some couples one partner may be doing all the work to move that relationship forward and the other partner may be unwilling or unmotivated to assist. This unwillingness or motivation could be the result of fear, disinterest, hurt, etc. Couples need to examine that and see what steps can be taken so both partners will be moving forward TOGETHER.
Other couples may have one partner who rather fuss and complain (the curser) than be quiet and attentive to what the plan and goal is. Again communication is key and more listening and less talking is needed for that to be successful.
Kayaking with a partner/spouse is similar to moving forward in a relationship. There may be times when you will not be able to see what dangers lie ahead and there may be other times where darkness may blind your vision to the future, however if you both work on moving forward TOGETHER with each person pulling their own (oar) in sync with yours with God as your lead, you two will experience something miraculous together and will be safely arrive to your final destination together.
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